I think one of the most frustrating things to me is not being able to make connections. Having quality time with people that I sense want to know me, or truly care about my heart is super important and I really miss it when its absent. For some time though, I have struggled with another type of connection--intellectual truth with my heart. I'm realizing just how much this connection really comes down to yielding my will, and being completely submissive to God's sovereignty. Circumstances may not change but God is still sovereign...still unchanging...still, and completely in control and working all things for my good and His glory--His time and in His way.
Why is all that so easy to say and so difficult to connect sometimes? I am grateful for God's patience with me. Sometimes I can picture Him just watching and shaking His head saying, "Its ok. I've got it. I know what's going on. And I do love you." He is waiting for me to respond by saying, just as Jesus did, "not my will, Father, not my will. I want Yours here, not mine. Please help me. I want more of You, not more of me."
We've been studying some of what God has said about Himself in the book of Isaiah with Dr James MacDonald's book, "Gripped by the Greatness of God" in our Wellspring class on Sundays. So far, we've looked at His holiness, awesome-ness, and this week (go figure!) we're studying His sovereignty. How true...if I believe God is in complete control and the final authority, I have got to submit to what He is doing in the world,...and even more...in my life.
One of the ways I believe God is deepening me and challenging me is in prayer. He wants to hear my heart. He knows it already, but He wants to hear it. In fact, He tells me to come. Along with that thought, is the truth that Jesus is praying for me. He is with me, and He knows I need connection...He is working to help me have that. Gotta love that!
